this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
