i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
