Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
