the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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