Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My dick has a subreddit
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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