tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
