And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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