I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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