I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
