I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
