So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
