It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
