Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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