hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
