I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize