glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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