Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
