Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize