wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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