i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
