If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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