just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
