need another drink. this is the easiest way
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i now understand why vodka
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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