3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize