Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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