at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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