so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
