So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
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