I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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