And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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