yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
