Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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