He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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