i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
