smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
