I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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