so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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