don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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