So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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