Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
