I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he fucked my hip out of place.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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