I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This house was built for laser tag.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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