all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
