This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is wine microwaveable?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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