Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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