I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
