I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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