all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
