Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
