You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
