I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize