Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
