He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
