Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you had me at cake vodka
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize