Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I will die if light touches me.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
