hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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