What a fucking waste of an outfit
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
