letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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