Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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