if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
