we have pet lesbian snakes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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