is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
