bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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