after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
