I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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