I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
