she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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