epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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