I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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