making cat noises will not fix the situation.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
