I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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