I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
