Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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